Sometimes, you just think to yourself. You can’t help it; I
mean come on- you didn’t wake up one day and program your brain to function
this way or that. It does what it does, it is what it is; but suddenly you can’t
remember what the ‘it’ you’re referring to has done to stimulate your life.
X rolled over onto the cold spot of the bed. She could feel
her mind racing, thinking about the next day, and the day after that, and the
things to follow the days to come. It was hard to focus, but there was an
aching feeling tucked somewhere within the confounds of the squish best defined
as a brain. The light tapping she felt on each of her temples was enough to
begin the worry itch.
You know that feeling, when the worry itch starts to creep
in. There’s a light pressure behind your eyes and a pounding in your frontal
lobe. It is this exact location that contributes to working memory tasks and an
influx of Dopamine. It is also this locality that presents dysfunctional
motives and altered egos. Some choose to refer to this as an exploration, some
choose to submit the conclusion of schizophrenia, but you…for you, we will call
it Y.
Y rolled over onto the cold spot of the bed. She could feel.
She could think. Days passed by, and things remained. Clarity was the focus.
She had developed a hypersensitivity tucked somewhere within the confines of
the grey wrinkled matter best defined as intellect. There was a muffled hum
resonating in her ears, a subdued shrill of the beast within.
In this moment you have a choice. You can lie back and wait,
pondering the significance of the things to come, or you can react by
suppressing the aggressor. As you peer into each of these options, you must
realize that the effected part of your brain is growing in both power and
command. Action is key at this point. There is no time to contemplate, though
if you choose to do so- you may wake up in a sticky solution of plasma and
platelets, the ingredients of which may or may not include both human and
animal material.
X rolled over onto the cold spot of the bed. She could feel
the heat rising behind her eyelids. It was hard to concentrate, the familiar
taste of bittersweet pills tingling her tongue, a distinction that can be noted
as overdosing. She watched the
grinning shadows form above her, their soft silken grey melting into the walls.
It would appear that you no longer need advice, and have
consequently provided a noose for your own neck. But in the case that your
noose was tied with a slipknot, don’t lose hope- many victims of the frontal
lobe have lived to tell their story. Though this story is sometimes repeated
within the confines of a prison wall, have faith that you might begin your
repetitious rant inside the borders of an insane asylum- no doubt you would fit
in well.
Y rolled over onto the cold spot of the bed. Tonight she had
been awake, re-energized, and empowered to work her crimson magic, but she too
could see the silken grey silhouettes that rose into the ceiling. There was a
faint cry that had escaped from her mouth, a distinction that can be noted as
defeat. She reached out into the dimming gloom of failed escape, no slipknot
could be found.
Perhaps during this attempt to suppress your alter ego you
have forgotten the key to success. Victory can only be achieved in the
realization that you are now alone, that this choice was both pre-meditated and
solely your own. However, dear friend, you have failed to realize that in your
attempt to squash Y, you failed to question your resources for advice. The advisee,
being myself- and therefore the ‘I’ in this equation have defeated you both. So
yes, my X, I have slipped your knot and will remain on the working end.
